Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Beerfest
You could say this movie exceeded my expectations. I was expecting it to be bad and it was far worse than I could have imagined.When I worked in professional politics, I used to be amused at the concept of focus groups. Here we were, the people at the core of the democratic process, yet we were so alienated from the way normal people think that we had to go out and hire some normal people to point out the obvious to us.
I know that people in Hollywood are even more disconnected from reality than politicians and that they therefore rely heavily on focus groups. It's hard to understand, then, how a movie like Beerfest could ever have been made.
This movie is bad, bad, bad. It is Ed Wood bad without the irony. The script seems as though it must have been written by a bunch of 14 year old boys, and not even smart 14 year olds, but rather the type of 14 year olds who sit around food courts guffawing at nothing and shouting things at each other like "Hey you f**ker, get me some f**king fries!"
Don't get me wrong. I am not that much of a movie snob. I like a good goofball, no-brainer, gross-out comedy as much as the next feller. But, for heavens sake, can't they at least be creative goofball, no-brainer, gross-out comedies? Have we really sunk so far that we have to feel nostalgia for movies like Porky's or Something About Mary?
Let's get this over with, shall we.... A pair of American slacker brothers must assemble a rag-tag team of beer drinking experts to defend their family honour after being humiliated by a family of aristocratic Germans at Beerfest, a super-secret, extra-decadent off-shoot of Oktoberfest. After the premise is established in the first half hour, what ensues is 90 more minutes of every conceivable beer- or drunkenness-oriented gross-out gag conceivable, none of them funny.
The only scene I laughed at had nothing to do with beer drinking. It involved an argument amongst the Germans, who are on a mission to retrieve an ancient beer recipe from the Americans. It reminded me of the stupidity and navel-gazing of every committee meeting I've ever attended:
German partriarch: It's time to begin Operation Recipe Rescue.If you smiled at the above, then you have received for free the sum total of the entertainment value of this film.
Brother 1: Is that the name we agreed on? I thought we were going to go with Operation Steingrabber.
Brother 2: Actually, I kind of liked Beerblitz 2006.
Brother 3: But what if the mission takes longer and ends up stretching into 2007?
Brother 2: You're right. I'm good with Steingrabber.
German patriarch: This isn't a democracy. We're calling it Operation Recipe Rescue and that's all there is to it.
All Brothers: OK, sure, yeah, I'm liking it now that you say it that way.
There is a great deal of nudity in this movie, which I would normally view as a redeeming quality, but in this case the nudity is so fake and plastic that it is devoid of any erotic quality. It is, once again, the sort of nudity that only an awkward 14 year old would appreciate.
Well, as much as I'm enjoying slagging this movie, it isn't worth my time or yours. Don't see this movie, not even on video. If you want to enjoy an evening of gross-out beer humour, rent Strange Brew. If you come into possession of a copy of Beerfest, burn it.
posted by Mentok @ 8:49 AM,
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Saturday, September 16, 2006
Rent
There's two hours of my life I won't get back.
posted by Mentok @ 8:22 AM,
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Thursday, September 14, 2006
Little Miss Sunshine
Mrs. Mentok has already done a review of this movie and she loved it. I really liked it, but not quite as much as her.I've heard some critics calling this "the most original movie of the year". I don't agree at all. In fact, it was quite formulaic. The cast of misfits, the dysfunctional family who struggle through adversity, grow closer and come to learn the value of family. I think there's like a zillion sitcoms with that premise.
On top of that, this is a road movie that follows the same formula of every road movie from Homer's Odyssey to Planes, Trains and Automobiles: the journey as an allegory for life, constant obstacles that grow more outrageous the closer the characters get to their goal, yada yada.
But what a road movie! Here's a movie stacked with the true giants, the real geniuses of modern comedy. No Jim Carrey, no Wayans brothers, none of these other so-called "comedians" that appeal to...um...well...just insert your own favourite snobby word here. I always get in shit for labelling people, but you get what I mean.
The entire cast is stellar, but the best of the bunch is obviously Alan Arkin. It is a real travesty that Jerry Lewis wins international honours while the far superior talent of Arkin goes relatively unnoticed. Does anyone remember him in Gattaca? His character was funny, but in such a subtle way that most people probably categorized that as one of his dramatic roles.
So the long and short is that a comedy road movie with Alan Arkin anchoring the comedy is going to be a good movie no matter how you cut it.
The plot of this particular road movie is that this highly dysfunctional family is trying to get their young daughter to one of those typically American child beauty pageants. I don't know about you, but those things really turn my stomach, and this movie to its credit dealt with that issue unflinchingly. When they finally get to the beauty pageant (of course they get there! It's not a spoiler), the daughter, who has been coached by Arkin's irascible character, turns in a performance that totally scandalizes the judges...in spite of the fact that all of the girls who performed previously were grotesquely sexualized in ways that were truly sickening. (Those things should be banned if you ask me.)
So there you go. Great comedy, a bit of a social comment and, to cap it all off, they find a credible way to make Proust scholars funny.
Verdict: A must see. Will probably get some Oscar or Golden Globe nods.
posted by Mentok @ 4:36 PM,
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Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Superman Returns
I'm an old DC Comics partisan from 'way back. So it was a little strange that I waited until the end of the summer before going to Superman Returns. I think I was just afraid of being disappointed. On the whole, I wasn't.
Superman is a tricky character to do. As everyone knows these days, he is cursed. The movie star curse is only part of the story. The comic book has gone through a few roller-coaster periods when it has become a serious money-sink for Warner Brothers. After all, no matter how much money the comic loses, they can never cancel it, because it's freakin' Superman. All of this flows from fundamental flaws that developed in the character after DC arrogantly and unceremoniously gave creators Siegel and Schuster the boot.
The long and the short is that there are a lot of ways to screw up the Superman character and not many ways to get him right. Fortunately, this movie was one of the better renditions of him.
The main thing of note about this movie is the effects. I mean, a movie that starts with a planet blowing up, c'mon, what else do you want? Since I waited so long to see the movie, the last place in town showing it was the IMAX, which made the visuals that much better.
The CGI flying effects I found particularly stunning. The original 1970s movie series used the slogan "You'll believe a man can fly", but really all they had to work with then was green screens and cranes. The scenes in this movie really make you think "wow, so that's what it would look like if a guy flew overhead."
So much for the effects. The acting was .... competent. Nothing wrong with it. Nothing right with it either. I completely agree with the critics who noted that there was no magic, no electricity between the characters. That's the whole problem with this movie in a nutshell.
The big exception was, of course, Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor. Has Spacey ever put in a bad performance? My favourite scene was a small one. Lois Lane stumbles across Lex Luthor in his bathrobe brushing his teeth. They both babble incoherently and look embarassed. It was perhaps the only moment in the movie when these larger-than-life characters seemed human.
While the acting was flat, the movie redeems itself by making an honest effort to deliver a slightly brainy message. The whole story turns into a commentary on man's relationship with God and the true nature of heroism. Without hitting the audience over the head with it too much, the movie makes a statement that comic afficianados have been saying for ages: Most of the time, Superman is not really a hero. He's freaking invulnerable! You can't really be courageous if you are freakin' invulnerable.
The story shows that we poor mortals, when we risk our lives for those we love, are the real heroes. Superman becomes a hero only when he loses his powers.
Not as deeply meaningful as Batman, the greatest comic book hero ever, but it's a reasonably smart premise for a superhero movie.
The verdict: Well worth seeing, but only on the big screen and the bigger the better. Do not bother renting it unless you've got a 52" set or a projector.
posted by Mentok @ 7:56 PM,
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